It Is Not Good To Be Alone

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18

Well, Jim and I have been married two months now and what a whirlwind it has been! Two nights at a luxury resort on the Zambezi for a honeymoon, two weeks in South Africa photographing the 2010 World Cup (13 games in 14 days) and six weeks of 3 short term mission teams from the USA in Zambia. What a way to start a marriage!

The day before we were to be married we experienced typical African bureaucracy. To be legally married in Zambia you must post the names of the couple in a public forum three weeks before the wedding. This is done so that if anyone wishes to contest the union they have adequate notice and can do so. No one contested... but... when we went to pick up the license we were told that Rev. Dr. Kalembo could not perform the wedding because he was not "gazetted" in the Livingstone. According to Rev. Dr. Kalembo he was gazetted in the country of Zambia and was not limited to any specific area. Four visits to the council office and 15 minutes before their offices closed they determined that Rev. Dr. Kalembo could perform the ceremony. They had to get a ruling from another office because they had two conflicting documents... one stated a pastor had to be gazetted by province and the other stated it was inclusive of the country. The latter document was from 1973...???

Our wedding was the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended... no bias here. It was set on the banks of the Zambezi River just 20km from Livingstone. It was small in attendance (by design) and we were blessed that Jim's brother's family from Knoxville could attend. An intimate group of "girlfriends" were also present as well as the two pastors who officiated the ceremony, Rev. Mike Helvie and Rev. Dr. Alfred Kalembo. Cindy Helvie blessed the occasion with a solo. We even had marimba players during the brunch that followed the ceremony.

Rev. Mike Helvie and Rev. Dr. Alfred Kalembo

Ben, Leonard, Karen and Nathaniel Brown

Jim and I had discussed an even smaller affair but my Zambian girlfriends would not hear of it! Thanks Karien, Joan, Cindy, Marcia, Margriet and Jody for making this a special occasion. It would not have been as beautiful without you.

Margriet Kern, Jody Hayton, Marcia Craig,
Cindy Helvie and Dr. Joan Jones

The celebration did not end there though, after a quick two day honeymoon, we headed to Zimba where my "hometown" did me well. The community joined together to prepare a traditional Tonga wedding reception. There was singing, dancing, eating and lots of laughter. Jim showed off his dancing skills (he dances like a white man) , paid the libola (bride price) of 5 (plastic) cows, sang a song to me and kissed me at an inappropriate time (the guests loved it)!

The Tonga Wedding Party

Dancing like a "Mazungu" (White Man)

Dancing with the women of Zimba

I wish each of you could have been a part of the celebration. It was truly God ordained and we are waiting in anticipation for what HE has in store for us.

_____________________________

So, you may be asking yourself just what is next.... we are asking the same question.

On August 5, 2010 Jim returned to Nashville, TN where he is a teacher with Metro Nashville Public Schools at Hillsboro High School. Janet will follow him to the states on August 14th. We will take the next few months discerning where God would have us settle. Although we do not feel that our time in Zambia is complete I understand that my place is with my husband until we can determine how we are to work together in ministry as a team.

We thank you in advance for your support and encouragement through prayer.

Desires Granted

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" - Psalm 37:4

Several years ago when I realized that God was asking me to do something more just exist in this world I was convicted to change behaviors and attitudes that were "accepted" by society. I changed these things willingly and with joy. There was one desire in my heart that continued to be a distraction... the desire to be married.

You single women know how it is... you are in public surveying the crowds looking for "the one". You check the ring finger, he looks at you, your heart starts to pound, then some young beautiful thin blonde walks up and grabs his hand.... Your friends are constantly suggesting someone they know as a potential candidate. You have a hard time enjoying yourself because you are self conscious about what impression you may be giving. Ok, now I know I am not the only one out there!!! Admit it!

Well, I finally decided I needed to leave this desire to God. I prayed that he would take the passion (that strong burning desire) away. Don't take it completely away... just lessen the hold it had on me so that I could concentrate on serving Him. He granted my request and gave me the promise that He would grant my desire in His time. It was amazing. I immediately became more confident in myself and didn't worry so much about the impression I was making... I was able to be myself... imagine! What freedom!

Well, you know the rest of the story... I continued to seek God's will in my life, God gave me a heart for missions and I moved to Zambia.

My life in Zambia has been full. God has provided great friends and "family" for me. I have never known such joy and fulfillment. There is nothing like knowing exactly where God wants you to be and being there!

About one year ago, those burning desires for a companion started creeping back in... I started "surveying the territory". There weren't a lot of options. I asked God why this desire was returning. He just said "Wait".

Facebook has been a real blessing to me. It has allowed me to get in touch with childhood friends, school buddies, workmates and to stay in touch with family and close friends. I never dreamed it would be the conduit for meeting my future husband.

Early October of last year I reconnected with a childhood friend... Jimmy Brown although, he prefers Jim these days. Jim's parents and my parents were best friends and had remained friends until his father passed away in 2008 and his mother was moved to an assisted living facility. Our families attended the same church. Matter of fact, Jim's grandfather was our pastor. He baptized me.

Jim is ten years older and while I was still a young girl he became an adult and started a family.

Fast forward 40 years....

Jim has four children and five grandchildren. He is separated from his wife for 2 1/2 years and is in the end stages of divorce.

Janet is divorced for 17 years, no children and a missionary in Zambia.

Doesn't sound like a match made in heaven, does it? I tell you our God has a great sense of humor.

Jim and I started chatting on Facebook and on October 21 had a "marathon" chat that lasted about 12 hours. We discussed everything from our childhood to adulthood, our views on Christianity, the world and who we were as adults. We found it easy to confide in each other and to share our experiences without fear of judgment. I felt like a schoolgirl!

Wait a minute though... this man was still married technically and what was I doing? This was a disaster in the making. I struggled with my emotions and my desires and I prayed for God's wisdom. Finally, in November I decided that we could no longer continue our chats because it was not proper and it did not honor God. It was one of the hardest things I ever did but I sent Jim an email telling him that until his divorce was final that we could not communicate. I was devastated.

Jim had already agreed to spend Thanksgiving at my sister's house where my parents would be. He asked me if it would be ok for him to attend as planned. I told him it was ok because he was an old family friend and that they would be happy to see him.

The Friday after Thanksgiving Jim calls me in Zambia and apologizes for the call. He knows that it is against my wishes but he had to let me know his feelings for me. I was caught off guard and speechless. I just sat in silence trying to understand how to proceed. I explained to Jim that his feelings didn't change the fact that he was still married and that continuing our relationship would be wrong. He asked me to enter into a time of fasting and prayer to discern God's will for our relationship. I did.

The result of the time of fasting and prayer allowed me the peace to continue a "friendship" with Jim but we set boundaries of not discussing a future together. Jim proceeded with his divorce and I continued my work in Zambia.

I had already planned my visit to the USA before Jim and I reconnected but his friendship now complicated my schedule. I made it clear that unless he was divorced we would not be able to spend time with each other. This was not a problem for him. He agreed.

I was scheduled to arrive in Washington DC on December 30. Jim planned to meet me there and purchased a ticket with the understanding that if his divorce was not final he would not use it. His divorce was finalized the morning of December 30, just hours before his plane was scheduled to leave.

Jim and I spent New Years together in the Washington area getting to know each other. We both wanted to spend more time together and discussed how to do that with my schedule and limited time in the USA. Jim agreed to join me wherever I was on the weekends. He also understood that my family and ministry responsibilities came first.

I won't say that the courtship was perfect. I had been single 17 years and had learned to be quite independent. I also enjoy my "me" time. There were times when I thought it was ridiculous to pursue this relationship... after all I live in Zambia. Jim lives in Nashville. I had planned to break the news to Jim that we should stop seeing each other but then he did the sweetest thing....
I was supposed to speak at my brother's church and just before I was going to prepare he asked if he could pray for me. I knew this was a sign from God not to give up so easily.

The rest of our time in the states was fun but I was still the skeptic. I finally just told myself to enjoy the attention. I thought that when I went back to Zambia it would be over and I really wasn't that attached anyway. I thought it would be harder for Jim than it would be for me but he would get over it. After all, he was a newly divorced man... the women would be like vultures!

February 28 I headed back to Zambia. Needless to say, my emotions were like a roller coaster. God had clearly spoken to me and I knew I was supposed to return to Zambia yet I couldn't stop thinking about Jim.

My return to Zambia was more difficult than the last time. I was returning to Lusaka which I really don't enjoy (I prefer Zimba) and I was returning to the knowledge that my dear friend, Jannike, would be leaving within a few weeks. Oh yeah.. I was missing Jim.

Jim and I have communicated every day either by chatting over the internet or via phone. We found a relatively cheap phone service. Jannike lessened my guilt over the cost of such a luxury by pointing out that if Jim and I were in the same city we would spend that same amount of money, if not more, on dates. Thanks Jannike!

Jim teaches high school in Nashville and so has the summer off. He began making plans to travel to Zambia for the months of June and July. We started discussing what a future together might look like. He was open to moving to Zambia so that I could continue the ministry God has given me.

OK... so the bottom line is....

Jim and I are going to be married on June 3 at 9am in Livingstone, Zambia in a small intimate ceremony by the Zambezi River. He will spend two months here in Africa with me. We will return to the states together in August and make plans to return to Zambia.

Our courtship has been unconventional to say the least but I have no doubts that this is God's plan for us. Just as he gave me confirmation along the way while I prepared to come to Zambia, he has done the same during this process also. On more than one occasion the Holy Spirit has assured me that this union is the fulfillment of a promise from God and a reward for my obedience to his call. I am truly blessed by His love.

I ask for your prayers as Jim and I become man and wife. Pray that we will continue to heed the will of God in our lives and that our marriage will honor Him. I wish each of you could be here to witness this occasion but I will be aware of your presence through your prayers. May God bless each of you as He has blessed me.

Stateside 2010

On December 28, 2009 I left Zambia set for the United States. It had been 18 months since my last visit and I was ready to see family and friends. There had been babies born, loved ones who had gone on and friends who were fighting for their life. It is so easy to get caught up in life 8000 miles away that you become numb to the things that happen "at home". Exactly where is home any way?

My last visit to the states was a rather hectic time. I had exactly 4 weeks to visit family and friends, visit numerous health care professionals, and visit churches that support and pray for me. I was exhausted by the time I returned to Zambia. Did I mentioned that the visit was wedged between two short term mission trips that I hosted? I don't remember learning how to come home when I did my missionary training. I didn't do it very well.

This time I was determined to do it better. I decided what I needed to do was to schedule some R&R before and after visiting my family, friends and church. I planned some time with my family in Jackson, TN before getting all caught up in the hustle and bustle of Memphis. I also felt it necessary to identify a woman whom I could talk to about issues I may experience and who would also challenge me spiritually. The one thing I did not plan was time for someone of the opposite sex. Trust me... God definitely has a sense of humor!

I arrived in Washington DC on December 29 after a day layover in London. Terry Love, a dear friend, met me at the airport and drove me to his house where he and his wife, Felicia, would host me for the next few days. Terry and I have a long history and it was good to see him and spend some time with him, his wife and daughter. They were planning a neighborhood New Years Eve party. I couldn't wait... I love New Year's Eve.

Did I mention that another friend was joining me in Washington that evening? This was a childhood friend that I had not seen in 40 years. Imagine, someone flying to spend a weekend in Washington DC with someone they had not seen in 40 years.

Well, the New Year's Eve party was lots of fun and the ball dropped on Times Square as it does each year. I was quite sure that 2010 was going to be a year I wouldn't forget any time soon.

After my time in Washington I headed to Pennsylvania where I was to have the honor or meeting Dannah Gresh, author of "And The Bride Wore White" and founder of Pure Freedom ministries. Dannah has a heart for Zambia also and had written a curriculum specifically for Zambia addressing the issue of abstinence. God has given me a heart for young people who are lured into sex at an early age and those who believe that sex is love. Dannah had agreed to teach me the curriculum so that I could use it in Zambia.

It was a wonderful time. Dannah saw to it that I was spoiled. I stayed with her parents in their new home, spent some time at Grace Prep High School meeting some incredible students, attended the workshop teaching the purity curriculum and was prayed over by Dannah's prayer warriors. It was an awesome experience and prepared me for my journey home to Tennessee.

When I arrived at my brother's house on Saturday, January 19th I was so surprised to see Christmas lights outside and a tree in the house. My family saved Christmas for me! Sunday afternoon, my brother and his family, my sisters, nieces, nephews, great nephews, great nieces and that friend from 40 years ago all gathered for a Christmas meal, gift exchange and of course, Dirty Santa. It was a great time and very meaningful.

After one week in Jackson it was time to head to Memphis to visit with dear friends and those who support me through their gifts and prayers.

Speaking in front of hundreds of people is not my idea of fun but I must say by the end of my time in Memphis I was a lot more comfortable with the idea. What used to take 10 minutes for me to say soon started taking 30 or 40 minutes. I had multiple opportunities to speak to the Christ United Methodist Church congregation and was so welcomed by everyone. I felt like a celebrity!

The other churches that were on my scheduled were Parkburg Baptist Church, Jackson, TN, McKinney Memorial Bible Church, Fort Worth, TX and First Wesleyan Church of Battle Creek, MI.

Ok, I will admit it now... it is my fault that the USA had so much snow this year. I planned my time home so that I could experience cold weather and I wanted to "see" some snow. Not only did I see snow but I was able to play in it, travel in it and watch it fall frequently. Be careful what you ask God for... it snowed every week I was in the states.

Spiritually my time in the states was a renewal time for me. I was fortunate enough to spend some time with Janet Sheehan who provided the spiritual challenge I was looking for. She introduced me to a new devotional, Jesus Calling. She spent numerous hours with me while I rattled on about my experiences in Zambia, my challenges of being in the states and this growing relationship with the 40 year friend. Yes, he was still hanging around.

I struggle with the feeling of inadequacy and I question why God would use someone like me... I know the answer... because I am willing. (I frequently remind myself that He even used a donkey!) I love God and I am in awe of all that he has done for me. I am humbled that no matter where I took him he never gave up on me. I praise Him for how my life has changed since I realized that His way is the only way.

I left Memphis feeling refreshed and excited about returning to Zambia. I felt the power of everyone who had been praying for me. I was energized by the interest of those who were just learning about Zambia. I knew that it was time to go "home". I was secure in the knowledge that "he chose me (I changed the pronoun) in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight."- Ephesians 1:4 I also left feeling assured that God would keep all his promises to me just as he had kept his promises to Abraham.

The last two weeks in the states were spent with family and that 40 year friend. Yes, I couldn't shake him. He was a persistent fella! It was difficult leaving them behind but I knew without any doubt that my return to Zambia was God ordained. What a great feeling!

Procrastination

"I do not not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." - Romans 7:15

or you might change it to this for chronic procrastinators like me...

I do not understand why I do NOT do it. For what I need to do I do not do but what I LIKE I do!

I don't like to write. It is a chore for me and I procrastinate doing it... I've justified the procrastination by saying" I'm not inspired", "I have more important things to do", "No one really reads it anyway" and "There is just too much to write about".

The last statement is where I am today. Since my last blog post I have spent two months in the USA and returned to Zambia where I have been for almost three months. That's five months with no update to my blog... please forgive me.

I actually looked up the definition of Procrastination (you know Google knows everything!)

"Procrastination refers to the counterproductive deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision."(Yes, this is me!!!) ... "Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as societal disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. (Me again!!!) While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder." (Ooops... back to therapy)

So, how I usually deal with procrastination is making a list... this blog is the last thing on the list... no excuses now. The second way I deal with it is by just doing something towards the goal... instant gratification... that's what I need! So, this short blog is my way of getting over the "hump".

I will end this rambling by saying that the next blogs will include:

Review of my time in the USA
Update on my return to Zambia
How God has blessed me personally

Now, that I have set some goals... be watchful!

To finish that Romans thought...

Now if I do what I do not like to do, it is no longer I who do it but a an item on the list that I must be checked off.

"For the least of these"

In my last post which was three months ago I spoke of a new ministry that I am spending time with called Mercy Ministries International. I thought you would like to hear more about this organization and the work God is doing through them.

The thing that impresses me about Mercy Ministries is that it was founded by nationals who know the needs of the community and have a vision for providing those needs. It's board is comprised of nationals as well and all the funds raised go directly to the services provided for the people in the community.

Davidson and Dorothy Phiri started this faith based non-profit organization in 1996 after Dorothy heard God tell her to take care of the needy. At first she thought this meant the children and the youth but as God continued to place "the needy" in her path she realized it also included the sick, the widows and the elderly. Today Mercy Ministries International serves the community of Chainda through Chifundo Community School, support groups for the elderly, widows and orphan caregivers, conducts a certified Bible School and monthly outreaches to the sick.

Chifundo Community School was the first project started by the Phiri's. She originally rented a couple of small rooms in the town of Chainda but as the student attendance grew they had to expand. Davidson and Dorothy sold their comfortable self-contained house and acquired land just on the outskirts of Chainda. They moved their family of 4 children to a small three room house with a pit latrine and outdoor shower. All their extra funds went into paying the teachers salaries, providing school supplies and purchasing food items to feed the children.

Through the efforts of the Phiri's friends, co-workers and acquaintances several individuals and churches have been introduced to the work of Mercy Ministries. Financial support for their ministry is growing and therefore the ministry services are growing. This year, for first time since 1996, Dorothy receives a small salary as the ministry Director.

Dorothy isn't the only Phiri that works at the ministry. Their children are just as involved. Naomi teaches pre-school, Edna serves as the bookkeeper and DJ drives the bus. Many of the Phiri's family, friends and church members assist as well. This is truly a Zambian affair. Actually, Chifundo Mission School is named after their daughter, Mercy, who is disabled. Chifundo means Mercy in the local language.

Today MMI has the following programs:
Chifundo Mission School is for orphans and vulnerable children. 371 children from Chainda and Ibex Hill communities attend the school. Of these children 24 are disabled and are taught in a special classroom designed specifically for disabled students. Each of the 371 children receive a meal at school. Sometimes this is the only meal the children receive that day.
Women’s Development Program for widows and orphan caretakers teaching them tie dying, batiking, tailoring and molding of recycled glass beads. The profit received from the sale of their products is distributed among the women.
Senior Citizens receive food supplements and clothing as resources are available.
Youth Skills and Sports Program teaches the youth cement block making and gardening skills. The blocks are used for building expansion on the ministry grounds and the youth gain a skill that they can use to earn an income. Sports such as football (soccer) and netball are used to teach them teamwork and to keep them off the streets.
Community Bible School provides a certificate from CBS South Africa. Students must be recommended by local pastors.
Outreach Programs
- HIV/AIDS Support Unit
- Youth Rallies
- Drug and Alcohol Sensitization
- Evangelism
Support Groups are provided for caregivers of special needs children and orphans/vulnerable children.

Vision and Dreams to be accomplished in the next 3-5 years
1. Disabled children: Create a training center where older children/youth with disabilities can learn an income generating skill so they live independently. Create a place where children (10 years old and up) can learn basic life skills. Provide a living environment (on the property) to keep children safe and teach them basic day to day living skills.
2. Chifundo Mission School: Improve the standards of the education so that many students go on to secondary and others to college. Instill in them the responsibility to come back and help the school and other students.
3. Batik and Recycled Glass Beads Projects: Create quality products that sell on the international market. Profits will benefit the individuals who participate and a percentage of the profits will lead to sustainability of the ministry.
So where do I, Janet, fit into this ministry. God has given Dorothy a vision for what is most needed in the community. She has the "big picture" and is able to communicate this vision to others so that they can understand how they can be a part of what God is doing. As the ministry grows so does the day to day responsibilities. Administratively there is more than Dorothy can do alone. So, Dorothy has asked me to come along beside her and help out with the day to day running of the ministry. My responsibilities include but are not limited to monitoring the budget, setting up systems for financial accountability, communicating with donors and coordinating short term mission teams.

Working with Mercy Ministries has allowed me to get involved in community. Everyday I get to see God working in the lives of orphans, widows and the sick. I get to share His love by encouraging the staff and by praying with those in despair. I do it not for me, not for the recognition but to glorify the one who gave me eternal life. I hope one day to hear Him say..."Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40

Exceedingly Abundantly Above All We Ask or Imagine

Well, it's been two months since my last post and so much has happened. Thanks to everyone who left comments, emailed and prayed for me. "But God has surely listened and heard my (our) voice(s) in prayer!"

I want to share a story with you but it's a little complicated. I know I won't do it justice. There are just so many connections between people who have been a part of my life here in Zambia and in the USA. I've tried to bold them throughout the writing so that you can see all the players.

If you have read the posting from July you know that the move to Lusaka, the capital city of Zambia wasn’t an easy transition for me. I think I compared it to moving from Mayberry to New York City. That's not an exaggeration.

I am thankful that the winter months (summer months in the USA) were busy with visitors and some personal travel. It was through some of those visitors that God was able to show me clarity and understanding of what His plans were for me in Lusaka.

In June, I hosted a team from the Fort Worth area, McKinney Bible Church. I didn't know this church but their missions director was referred to me by Wayne Sneed of Orphanos in Memphis where I had worked prior to leaving for Zambia. McKinney wanted to do ministry in Africa and they wanted to serve HIV orphans.

When they first contacted me I still lived in Zimba and there were several children's homes in the area so naturally I thought they would visit one of those. As the time for them to travel drew closer I had moved to Lusaka, some changes had occured at the location I had intended to send them and I wasn't sure just where they should serve.

Jannike Seward, a dear friend of mine in Lusaka, had become involved and attached to a community school in Chainda. Chainda is a "slum" area of Lusaka that is estimated to be 60% HIV positive and densely populated with orphans and vulnerable children. As I discussed with Jannike my concern about how to plan for this team she suggested that they travel to Lusaka rather than Livingstone and conduct a VBS (Vacation Bible School) at the Chifundo Mission School. It made sense and I suggested it to McKinney team leaders and they agreed.

The team from McKinney arrived in June and in the middle of the week they were here I received a call from Will Taylor, a member of Christ United Methodist Church. Will just happened to be in Zambia and he and his sons were flying into Lusaka the next day. He hoped I would be able to meet with them. At first I was like... sure, I just have 12 people that I am responsible for but what's three more people?? I picked them up at the airport the next day and they joined the Texas team for dinner. At this dinner Will heard not only heard about the community school but was able to meet the founders, Dorothy and Davidson Phiri. He visited the school the next day.

Will was touched by the work that was being done by Mercy Ministries International (MMI) and Chifundo Mission School. He was especially drawn to the ministry for children with disabilities and made a financial commitment to MMI before leaving. I felt an obligation followup on his generosity so I knew I wasn't finished with MMI.

Immediately after the Texas team left, a team of 5 arrived from Christ United Methodist. I spent some time with them as they worked in Zimba and then three of them remained and traveled with me to Lusaka to assess how CUMC could get involved in the Lusaka area. After I told them about Will's visit and they too wanted to see MMI.

Now, I had shared with them my discontent in Lusaka and they wanted to help me discern how things could be different for me. Because of the schedule we couldn't visit MMI until the morning they were actually leaving Lusaka. It was a quick visit and on the way to the airport there seemed to be a silence that could not be explained. I wanted to ask what they thought of MMI but I felt the Holy Spirit stop me from doing so. As they passed through the security check point and I was saying my goodbyes one of the team members, Bob Whitsitt, said, "I saw God at work in two places in Lusaka." I asked him to be specific and as he said the name Mercy Ministries my heart jumped.

Okay, so what does all that mean? I came to Zambia to partner with Christ United Methodist Church and the Pilgrim Wesleyan Church (PWC). My work permit is with the PWC. How could I consider working with another ministry? Why was I so torn? Why was I not happy in Lusaka? I was confident that Lusaka is where God wanted me to be. He made it too easy. Although I think I knew what I was supposed to do, I worried over the action. I knew I had to talk with the National Superintendent of the PWC and share with him my desire to do ministry elsewhere. Now, there are so many needs in Zambia and so little resources. Would there be some jealousy due to the competition of resources? Would they see my involvement with MMI as a conflict of interest? Would they allow me to stay in the country using the work permit obtained through their church?

For much of July I carried this burden with me. I prayed but didn't receive a clear answer. In August I traveled to Tanzania on vacation and during my quiet time felt God telling me to "just do it." I didn't obey and continued to feel burdened. I knew another team from CUMC was coming the middle of August (this included the senior pastor) and I wanted them to see MMI but wasn't sure how to schedule it since the specific purpose for their visit was to spend time with leaders and pastors of the PWC.

God helped me with that one. When I returned from my vacation, one of the first emails I read was from Eric Angel, CUMC International Missions Director. He was asking if I could arrange for Dr. Dodson, the senior pastor, to see MMI. What? You have got to be kidding me? I didn't waste any time making the arrangements.

Members from this team sensed my discontent also and even pointed out a difference in my demeanor when we traveled outside of Lusaka. When I showed them my Zambian "hometown", Zimba, it became clear that what I was missing in Lusaka was a sense of community. As I stated before, Lusaka is just a big city. It has lots of traffic, lots of people, walled fences around all the houses... a place where one can become isolated. The people you work with live in different areas of the city and traveling to visit one another outside of business hours is limited due to the cost of transportation. I have never been much of an office person so going into an office everyday didn't help my attitude either.

This is a really long story but happy ending is coming, I promise!

Just a few days after the second CUMC team leaves Danny and Cathy Sartin, Deeper Still Ministries based in Memphis, visit me. (I must mention here that Danny used to be on staff at McKinney Church) Their sole purpose is to "refresh" me. What they didn't know is that they were going to help me take that next step... I shared my burden with the Sartins and my anticipation of the response I would receive from the PWC. We prayed together and decided the best plan was for me to talk with the National Superintendent while they were in Lusaka so that they could lend me moral support. They promised to pray while I met.

Now, I have huge respect for Rev. Sitali Kakungu who is the national superintendent for the PWC. I really didn't want to disappoint him. I explained to him that I was not happy in Lusaka and that through the eyes of my visitors over the past few months had come to understand what was missing... community. I needed to be ministering to people and not sitting behind a desk. I shared with him that I felt God calling me to work with Mercy Ministries and explained how God has placed them in my life. I asked him for his blessing. I waited and was so surprised at his response.

He stated that he had been waiting for me to tell him what my passion was and that he wasn't surprised by the pull to MMI. He encouraged me to follow my heart. He had visitedMMI with Dr. Dodson and his team and felt God's presence as well. He even stated that since MMI was part of me it was part of PWC and maybe the PWC could get involved also. He expressed a desire to get involved on a personal level.

I cannot express the extreme joy and relief I felt at that time. With tears in my eyes I told Sitali what a great man he was and how anxious I had been to talk to him. We discussed how I would continue to be the liason between CUMC and PWC, assisting them with CUMC projects, hosting teams and even help the national board establish an HIV/AIDS policy to define the church's response to the AIDS crisis.

All that time wasted worrying about a response that didn't happen. All that time not having courage to step out in faith even when I clearly heard God instruct me. I think what happened is what all of us do so often... I put God in a box and limited Him in what He was capable of doing. When I came out of the meeting with Sitali, Danny Sartin summed it all up in the following verse:

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more (some versions say "exceeding abundantly above") than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20
So, as I take a deep breathe and continue to be amazed at God, be on the lookout for more about Mercy Ministries International. If you are a Facebook addict, check out the Mercy Ministries International page and see what God is doing there.

Thanks to all the individuals and organizations in this story, you were used by God.