Zambian Wedding Shower

On Thursday, 4/5, Justina Kukungu (PWC National Superintendent’s wife, invited me to attend a bridal shower with her on Saturday, April 7. I was excited by the opportunity and we discussed the differences between Zambian showers and USA showers. I could tell this was going to be quite different! Justina stated she would come for me around the 1400 hour to leave for the party.
Now for those who don’t know anything about African culture. Time is not a commodity here. They are a very relational group of people and as long as you are within 2 hours of the time discussed you are not considered late. This is due to two reasons: 1) their relational culture where is it rude not to speak to everyone you know and listen genuinely to updates on their family and 2) unreliable public and private transportation.
I understand this much better after Saturday. Justina came to collect me at 1430 but left and came back because she saw the visiting pastor speaking to me. She returned an hour later and although he was still telling his story, I indicated to him that I needed to leave.
Justina and I used public transportation to travel to the party. Now, I had seen the turquoise blue vehicles all over the city but I didn’t really understand how it worked. Public taxis and buses are all painted the same blue color so that they can be easily identified. There are designated stops for the buses but there is no specific times to arrive or depart.
Each bus is equipped with a driver and a “solicitor”. The solicitor reminds me of the carnival workers who are lulling you into the shows and games. Their job is to have a full bus. This means that when they stop at a bus stop, the buses don’t leave until they have solicited as many people as possible to ride. The larger the bus the longer it takes. The solicitor gets off at each stop and looks for people who may need a ride. If the bus driver appears to be leaving and a potential customer is coming, he will beat on the outside of the bus to let the driver know not to leave. If this doesn’t sound chaotic enough, imagine two or three buses at the stop at one time and each are competing for your business. By the way, you can be waiting for a bus and one comes that is full and doesn’t need to stop at your bus stop, they keep going. It works for them and Justina and I made it to the shower just in time for the start. Well, actually they were a few hours late starting the party!
The home where the party was held was a very nice house in Zambian standards. It was inside a stone wall with a gated entry. It had large rooms and the large yard was nicely landscaped. As we entered the grounds there was as group of women singing and dancing similar to a conga line. In the middle of the crowd were three women covered by a chetenge (colorful cloth) and they were directed to sit on the ground in the middle of the lawn. They stayed covered while the dancing and singing continued.
The first thing I noticed was that several women were dressed similarly. I suspected that maybe this identified which family they belonged to. When Justina was taken away and returned in one of the dresses, I found out it identified church members from the bride’s church and the groom’s church. Each church used a different fabric.
There was a tent for the relatives of the bride and groom with plastic chairs for them to sit in. Friends sat in plastic chairs on the far side of the lawn. There was a band and the groom’s church provided a choir. The music was both spiritual and celebratory. There was an emcee but she spoke mainly in the mother tongue (Tonga) and occasionally in English.
Two groups of gifts were displayed on the lawn. One group appeared to me like it was gifts which had been received and just displayed for the guests to view. I found out later they were the gifts from the parents and that the bride was seated with her back to them so that she could not see them until the time came. The other group of gifts was in front of her but in shopping bags so that she could not see what was inside. None of the gifts were wrapped.
The three women remained seated on the lawn and as the singing and dancing continued, crates of Cokes, Fanta Orange , Fanta Grape, and Sprite were carried among the guests. Another conga line formed and this time it included the groom. He was danced in to sit before the covered women. I had already realized that one of the women was the bride. The groom sat with two other men in front of the covered women and he was not allowed to uncover her until he paid enough money. He pays around 100,000 Kwacha (approximately $25). She was uncovered and there were two older women on either side of her. These women had been chosen by her mother to mentor her in being a good wife.
The groom and his friends were escorted to three chairs while another group of singers and dancers celebrated. A few minutes later the groom and his friends were escorted out by another conga line.
Now came time for the presents. The emcee picked a card off of each gift and asked the giver to come before the bride and present it. The gift could be given from one person or more but my observation was that most were given by groups of people. Each giver was required to sing a song and dance before the bride. They then knelt before her, showed the gift and she responded with words of how she would use it to be a good wife and homemaker. Although there was lots of laughter, the bride and her mentors sat very humbly. She always looked down and I never saw her smile or laugh. I found out this was out of respect for the givers, to receive the gifts with humility. Note: Some of the gifts were given anonymously.
Once the gifts were opened a buffet line was offered to the guests. Food was brought to the brides’ mentors but I did not see her eat anything. The food was excellent..fried chicken, rice, roasted potatoes, potato salad, green beans, cucumber salad, noodles, beef tips, and cake. Soft drinks were available at the end of the line.
When everyone had been served another conga line formed and this time they collected the bride and her mentors. She was danced in front of the gifts from the parents and the other guests followed to view them as well. Once she saw the gifts from the parents the guests started to leave. I never saw the bride smile the entire day and thought what fun it was for everyone but her! So different from our showers in the states.
Followup: I saw the bride at church on Sunday and she was full of joy and smiled all the time. I spoke with her and asked about the shower. She explained to me that it was out of respect for the guests that she did not show any signs of pride for the receipt of the gifts.
The wedding is next Sunday and I hope to be able to attend!

Please note that this shower took place in the city and is not observed in the villages in this way.

Life in Zambia

Well, I have finally arrived in my new country. Thank you all for the prayers that I would arrive safely and without incident. The 17 hour flight was not so bad and the time went by quickly. I was able to read, listen to music, watch a movie, sleep and eat. What more would you want to do in 17 hours?
I want to thank everyone who came to the airport to see me off. It was a very special time and I loved sharing it with you.
During the 17 hour flight to Johannesburg I was fortunate enough to sit next to Peter, a young missionary in Livingston, Zambia. Livingston is approximately 1 hour from Zimba . He is a good North Carolina boy with great manners and helped me with my bags and shared my dark chocolate M&Ms. It was great to talk to him about his experiences in Zambia. He is a mechanic and may be able to assist me in purchasing a vehicle. Just another contact God has blessed me with.
The only incident in my travel was the lack of my checked bags in Lusaka when I arrived. I was one of the few transfers in Johannesburg and I think they must of offloaded it with everyone else’s. I did not receive it until Thursday so that meant I wore the same clothes Monday – Thursday. (Tammy, I took my extra clothes out of my carry on to make room for something else…)
The guesthouse where I am staying temporarily is very comfortable. I stayed here during my visit in February and so it is familiar. I think that is helping me to feel “at home”. I haven’t been homesick yet… And guess what? I have ice! I bought bottled water, ice trays were available and with the help of the freezer, I have ice with my Coke light! Let’s hope I have this luxury in my permanent home.
The first night I had a cold shower because I did not realize the geyser was the hot water tank and that the switch needed to be turned on in order for the water to heat up. I now know a new Zambian word – geyser! Very important item and I have been assured there will be a geyser at my flat.
I have also had some unwelcomed visitors….spiders, small bugs, a lizard and a centipede. I can deal with the spiders and bugs but the centipede had to go. I didn’t kill it just let it go outside. I hope it stays there.
Internet access is not convenient and what I have used as broadband is still slow compared to the USA. The PWC office has access but my computer is not configured and I have to use someone else’s computer. Each time I have had the opportunity to check email, I felt rushed and did not take the time to update my blog. I am writing this so that the next time I have internet access I can just cut and paste it into the blog and time will not be an issue.
I was very excited to find that the local Celtel office here had a USB modem that I could purchase and then you buy a card for increments of data to be transmitted. This would allow me to have internet anywhere I have a signal. Well, sometimes having the latest and greatest software is not good. The modem is not compatible with MS Vista. Once I am settled into a permanent location, I will be able to work out another solution.

By the time you receive this, I will have been in Lusaka for 1 week. It has been an eventful week!
4/4 Wednesday – purchased “top up” card for my cell phone and the modem that doesn’t work, met with the PWC Medical Officer to discuss my roles and responsibilities and purchased groceries. Purchasing groceries was a real task in that I have not really cooked in years and I was lost in the grocery store. Not only were the brands unfamiliar, I really didn’t know what ingredients I needed to buy. I am living off of peanut butter, eggs, bread, ham, juices and coke light. The Coke light is not Diet Dr. Pepper but it serves the caffeine addiction. I am limiting myself to one a day in order to break the habit and when my container comes with DDP I won’t drink them all in one day!
4/5 Thursday – The acting National Superintendent, Ken, drove me to the airport to retrieve my luggage. Hurray! I now have clean clothes. He drove me to the Kalembo’s home so that I could use their broadband connection. It took us 1 ½ hours to get there due to the market traffic and the beginning of a holiday weekend. When we arrived, Alfred was not at home and he had the key to the office where the internet connection could be accessed. Ken then drove me to an internet café in the city where I was able to read and write a few emails.
4/6 Friday – This was a Zambian holiday and Alfred and Muumbe Kalembo invited me to their home for dinner and to celebrate their son’s birthday. Chile had accompanied the short term mission team in 2002. He is now 17 and plans to attend college in the states!
4/7 Saturday – A Full Gospel minister who was at the guesthouse shared his testimony with me for three hours. It was a great story and I was blessed by his sharing. I teased him that even with an audience of one he couldn’t resist preaching! Later that afternoon, I attended a Bridal shower with the national superintendant’s wife, Justina. Not only was the party great fun, but the use of the public transportation to get there was an experience. I’ll write about this in a separate entry.
4/8 Sunday – I attended church with the National Superintendent and his family (Sitali, Justina, Ann, Stephanie and Edna) I had attended a PWC during my previous visits but this church was more charismatic and I witnessed responses to the Holy Spirit that I didn’t understand but I had no doubt they were authentic. God is surely alive and well in Africa! Sunday evening I watched Fly Away Home with the children on my computer. Everyone was amazed that we could do that!
4/9 Monday – Today is the last day of the holiday so it is a day to relax. I am reading, writing and catching up on my quiet time. I plan to have lunch with the National Superintendent's family. (Note that this is the way they are referred to in Zambia, I am not “name dropping”!)4/10 Tuesday – another day of errands, more cell minutes and groceries. I actually cooked a meal and served it to other guests staying in the guest house with me. Yes! They are still alive!
4/11 Wednesday - Picked out supplies for renovations on my flat. This was really fun and the Zambian men accompanying me laughed as I picked out colors and styles of items. I am glad they waited for me to come to start this project. There is no telling what the place would have looked like! I even got two free light fixtures from the hardware store for doing business with them. I also drove the Land Rover today! Yes, I drove on the left side of the road and did not run over anyone. It is also a 5 speed which I am used to but I had to change gears with my left hand. The only problem I had was that they need some clutch work. You have to unstick the clutch by putting your foot under the pedal and pulling up. NS (Sitali) wants me to drive to Choma and Zimba this weekend when we go. He is ready for me to have my own transportation!

I will continue to blog as I am able but I ask you to continue to pray for my time here in the following ways:
Adjustment to a new culture (realization of mistakes and understanding of differences)Renovations of the flat in ZimbaPersonal and reliable transportation
Reliable and easy availability to Internet access
Openness and acceptance by the people I will work with in Zimba
Partnership with PWC and that my time here to be productive and valuable
Wisdom for the leaders of the PWC

My desire was to update every couple of days but due to the internet access…I’ll be happy for once a week!

Thanks for your love and encouragement.Love to you all,Janet