I’m not sure how I got myself into this situation. God didn’t bless me with children of my own and I really don’t have a lot of experience with children… but on Saturday, July 18, God brought me 13 beautiful and energetic 13 and 14 year old girls to spend the night at the Wesleyan Guest House in Zimba. I praised Him for providing two Zambian friends, Mrs. Kenneth Siabowa and Mrs. Kristen Kazia to help chaperon. I could not have done it without them.
First of all, how do you grocery shop for 16 people. I’ve only had to shop for myself for the past say 15 years! Needless to say I had to return to the market several times for those forgotten items or those that I purchased too little of. The menu was a simple Zambian one of chicken, Nshima, cabbage and gravy so all the ingredients could be found in Zimba.
Secondly, there were six single beds and 13 girls. None of them complained when we asked them to double up.
Thirdly, I actually had to set a ground rule… no cell phones!!!
The event was scheduled to start at 1630 hours (4:30 pm) but true to Zambian time didn’t start until 1745 hours (5:45pm).
The girls were so excited and very attentive. They listened to every word spoken and asked great questions. I learned so much about the dating culture in Zambia. It is becoming very much like dating in the western countries. A lot of the traditional customs are being relinquished as a result of television and movies.
The retreat was based on the book by Dannah Gresh, And the Bride Wore White, The Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity. By the end of the weekend each girl could recite each secret and I have been told the parents now know the secrets as well.
For those of you who do not know the secrets here is a brief summary:
1. P Purity is a process (No one was born pure so each day we have to make a conscious effort to be pure. This relieves those who have experienced sexual sin in the past and allows them to pursue purity just like everyone else.)
2. P Purity Dreams of Its Future (We encourage the girls to start thinking about the characteristics they desire of the man God will provide for them. Most importantly that they will be equally yoked to another Christian.)
3. P Purity is Governed by Its Value (One tends to make decisions based on how valuable he/she feels. We teach the girls that their bodies are like fine china tea cups and not throw away styrofoam cups.)
4. P Purity Speaks Boldly (How do you reject the opposite sex’s advances if you are not equipped with the words to say? This session teaches the girls how to say no and mean it.)
5. P Purity Loves Its Creator at Any Cost (Purity can only be maintained through a love relationship with Jesus Christ.)
6. P Purity Embraces Wise Guidance (We encourage the girls to identify mentor that can help them through difficult circumstance. We prefer that mentor to be a parent but in the Zambian culture that is sometimes not possible. Alternatives would be Aunties)
7. P Purity Watches Burning Flames (Find women who have experienced these secrets already and can be examples.)
I was so fortunate to have two “burning flames” attend our retreat. One was a woman who was pursued by a young man who was a drunkard. She liked this young man and would have liked to be in relationship with him but she had already made a commitment with God that she would not marry someone who drank alcohol. She stood her ground, he gave up drinking, became a Christian, they married and now have two children.
The second “burning flame” was an AIDS widow who shared her story of a husband who was unfaithful and as a result infected her with the deadly AIDS virus. Her story told of the denial of her husband once he was diagnosed, the rejection of her family since she was “dead already”, and the son she gave birth to that hasn’t been tested yet. Eleven years of living with the disease she still lives as a witness to the miracle God can perform. Eight years she survived without Anti-retro viral therapy. She gives all the glory to God but warned the girls that her choice in a spouse not only caused her to have a life threatening disease but it may have cursed her son as well. His status is not known. Counselors have advised her not to test him unless he starts to exhibit poor health. To date, he is a strong, healthy young man.
The girls were moved to tears by both stories and you could have heard a pin drop. The interesting thing is that most of the girls knew the second flame quite well but had no idea she was living with Positive HIV.
On Saturday afternoon after lots of dancing, Bible drills and the last secret we gathered our things to depart. The girls wanted to stay another night and had a hard time leaving. We prayed together and asked that God protect their hearts and give them wisdom in their future relationships. One girl which I had been told has experimented with sex spoke up and publicly announced that she was to remain pure from that day forth until she married the man God would provide for her. We praised God and reminded the girls that she can only do that through her faith and the accountability of each of the girls present.
The lessons don’t stop here… we agreed to meet monthly to discuss any challenges, review the secrets and study God’s word.
It’s Monday and I have already been approached by parents and church leaders who want to know when the next retreat will be scheduled. The older girls want to learn the same secrets. Isn’t God good!!
I can’t claim to be childless anymore. He has provided me with so many children here in Zambia. I only hope that I can continue to be the example He intended me to be. My wish is that no matter how long or short a period of time we have together, that they remember me as the woman who shared the love of Christ with them.
I would be remiss to stop here and not thank each of you who prayed for this event. It was so obvious that we were covered in prayer. There were so many details that changed prior to the event but each change was best not just good. May God Bless You All.
