Purity Retreat Results

I’m not sure how I got myself into this situation. God didn’t bless me with children of my own and I really don’t have a lot of experience with children… but on Saturday, July 18, God brought me 13 beautiful and energetic 13 and 14 year old girls to spend the night at the Wesleyan Guest House in Zimba. I praised Him for providing two Zambian friends, Mrs. Kenneth Siabowa and Mrs. Kristen Kazia to help chaperon. I could not have done it without them.

First of all, how do you grocery shop for 16 people. I’ve only had to shop for myself for the past say 15 years! Needless to say I had to return to the market several times for those forgotten items or those that I purchased too little of. The menu was a simple Zambian one of chicken, Nshima, cabbage and gravy so all the ingredients could be found in Zimba.

Secondly, there were six single beds and 13 girls. None of them complained when we asked them to double up.

Thirdly, I actually had to set a ground rule… no cell phones!!!

The event was scheduled to start at 1630 hours (4:30 pm) but true to Zambian time didn’t start until 1745 hours (5:45pm).

The girls were so excited and very attentive. They listened to every word spoken and asked great questions. I learned so much about the dating culture in Zambia. It is becoming very much like dating in the western countries. A lot of the traditional customs are being relinquished as a result of television and movies.

The retreat was based on the book by Dannah Gresh, And the Bride Wore White, The Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity. By the end of the weekend each girl could recite each secret and I have been told the parents now know the secrets as well.

For those of you who do not know the secrets here is a brief summary:

1. P Purity is a process (No one was born pure so each day we have to make a conscious effort to be pure. This relieves those who have experienced sexual sin in the past and allows them to pursue purity just like everyone else.)

2. P Purity Dreams of Its Future (We encourage the girls to start thinking about the characteristics they desire of the man God will provide for them. Most importantly that they will be equally yoked to another Christian.)

3. P Purity is Governed by Its Value (One tends to make decisions based on how valuable he/she feels. We teach the girls that their bodies are like fine china tea cups and not throw away styrofoam cups.)

4. P Purity Speaks Boldly (How do you reject the opposite sex’s advances if you are not equipped with the words to say? This session teaches the girls how to say no and mean it.)

5. P Purity Loves Its Creator at Any Cost (Purity can only be maintained through a love relationship with Jesus Christ.)

6. P Purity Embraces Wise Guidance (We encourage the girls to identify mentor that can help them through difficult circumstance. We prefer that mentor to be a parent but in the Zambian culture that is sometimes not possible. Alternatives would be Aunties)

7. P Purity Watches Burning Flames (Find women who have experienced these secrets already and can be examples.)

I was so fortunate to have two “burning flames” attend our retreat. One was a woman who was pursued by a young man who was a drunkard. She liked this young man and would have liked to be in relationship with him but she had already made a commitment with God that she would not marry someone who drank alcohol. She stood her ground, he gave up drinking, became a Christian, they married and now have two children.

The second “burning flame” was an AIDS widow who shared her story of a husband who was unfaithful and as a result infected her with the deadly AIDS virus. Her story told of the denial of her husband once he was diagnosed, the rejection of her family since she was “dead already”, and the son she gave birth to that hasn’t been tested yet. Eleven years of living with the disease she still lives as a witness to the miracle God can perform. Eight years she survived without Anti-retro viral therapy. She gives all the glory to God but warned the girls that her choice in a spouse not only caused her to have a life threatening disease but it may have cursed her son as well. His status is not known. Counselors have advised her not to test him unless he starts to exhibit poor health. To date, he is a strong, healthy young man.

The girls were moved to tears by both stories and you could have heard a pin drop. The interesting thing is that most of the girls knew the second flame quite well but had no idea she was living with Positive HIV.

On Saturday afternoon after lots of dancing, Bible drills and the last secret we gathered our things to depart. The girls wanted to stay another night and had a hard time leaving. We prayed together and asked that God protect their hearts and give them wisdom in their future relationships. One girl which I had been told has experimented with sex spoke up and publicly announced that she was to remain pure from that day forth until she married the man God would provide for her. We praised God and reminded the girls that she can only do that through her faith and the accountability of each of the girls present.

The lessons don’t stop here… we agreed to meet monthly to discuss any challenges, review the secrets and study God’s word.

It’s Monday and I have already been approached by parents and church leaders who want to know when the next retreat will be scheduled. The older girls want to learn the same secrets. Isn’t God good!!

I can’t claim to be childless anymore. He has provided me with so many children here in Zambia. I only hope that I can continue to be the example He intended me to be. My wish is that no matter how long or short a period of time we have together, that they remember me as the woman who shared the love of Christ with them.

I would be remiss to stop here and not thank each of you who prayed for this event. It was so obvious that we were covered in prayer. There were so many details that changed prior to the event but each change was best not just good. May God Bless You All.

Zambian Crocodile

Once upon a time there was a man who visited a community of people who lived by a river. As evening approached, he was invited to sit down by the river and enjoy a cold beverage and then have dinner with the people. While they ate calmly and pleasantly, a fourteen-foot crocodile suddenly came up out of the river, chomped off the arm of the man sitting closest to the riverbank and then slipped silently back into the dark waters. The people were alarmed and shocked, but they recomposed themselves. Those closest to the man bandaged him up the best they could and transported him to medical assistance. Then they resumed their eating, drinking and conversation—picking up right where they left off without any discussion of the incident. The visiting man was horrified that the evening continued as if nothing had happened. Each time he tried to mention the tragic and violent act, someone in the group quickly changed the subject. He made one final attempt to bring up the incident to discuss: “A man just lost his arm to an enormous crocodile that came suddenly out of the river. Didn’t you all see that, or was I imagining things?” Someone in the group replied, Yes, I saw what happened. A number of people are attacked each year in our community by crocodiles.” The man looked closer at the group and sure enough, he spotted people who were missing hands and feet, arms and legs. “Can’t you do anything about the crocodiles?” he asked. Another in the group replied with embarrassment clearly written on his face, ”It is impolite in our culture to talk about crocodiles.”

The visitor was stunned into bewildered silence.

The above story and the following information was taken from the curriculum developed for Zambia by Pure Freedom: Living a Life Free of HIV/AIDS based in State College, PA, USA. www.purefreedom.org

The Crocodile That’s Loose in Zambia: HIV/AIDS

• At least 70% if Zambians know someone personally who has HIV/AIDS or who has died of it
• There are over 600,000 orphans in Zambia due to HIV/AIDS
• Each year Zambia loses half as many teachers as it trains to HIV/AIDS
• 16% of those tested in Zambia are HIV positive.
• The life expectancy in Zambia is 39 years, the fourth lowest in the world, with an expected healthy lifespan if 30 years.
  
• 60% of 15-19 year olds say they have had sex
• Women are two times more likely to acquire HIV than men. This is especially true of teen girls whose vaginas are not as well-lined with protective cells as that of mature women.
  
• Higher income residence and those living in urban areas are more likely to attract prospective sex partners and have the ability to pay for sex, thus they are more at risk despite a higher education level.
  
• 17% of males aged 15-19 surveyed paid for sex in the twelve months preceding the survey.
  

Abstinence until marriage and faithfulness to one life-time sexual partner is the only proven method of avoiding HIV/AIDS. Eighty-four percent of Zambians understand that limiting the number of sex partners and being faithful is important.
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This information is what led me to pursue leading "Purity Retreats" for girls in Zambia. The retreats allow small groups of girls around the same age to come together, talk intimately about dating, what the Bible says about dating and marriage and our response as Christians to living a pure life. I am using the book written by Dannah Gresh - And the Bride Wore White. Dannah's organization, Pure Freedom, conducts similar retreats in the United States and has an ongoing ministry here in Zambia.

My first “Purity Retreat” is schedule for Friday, July 18 and will extend into Saturday. I have invited twelve 13 and 14 year olds to spend the night at the Wesleyan Guest House. They are very excited about the event and I am praying that God will open their hearts to the Word defining our bodies as holy vessels and how we should strive for purity daily.

I am asking for you to partner with me in prayer for this event. It is the second time for it to be scheduled and I refuse for anything to stand in the way of its success. On Friday afternoon, parents, church leaders and the Christian community will gather to conduct a prayer walk around the meeting facility and to pray for each attendee and facilitator. The prayers will continue throughout the night.

Please join us as we pray for the following:

• Protection from Satan and his army who do not want this information delivered to these young girls
• Willingness of the girls to share openly
• Open hearts for those girls who have already compromised their bodies and may need healing from past sins
• Maturity of each attendee to keep all information confidential
• Discernment of the facilitators to know when to solicit pastoral assistance
• Those who may not know Jesus will come to know him and trust him.
• 100% commitment from all participants to remain sexually pure until marriage and after marriage

Counting the Days

Dear Friends,

In less than one month I will step on the soil of my homeland, the United States of America. I arrive on August 3 at 11:12am on Delta Flight #4735. I am so excited that whenever I think about it tears come to my eyes. Even as I write this, I also get teary eyed thinking about leaving the many friends I have made here in Zambia even though I know I will be returning. It is a bittersweet time. I am so looking forward to seeing each and every one of your faces.

Before I leave Zambia there are a several important projects I need to complete. I need your prayers to accomplish this. Please pray for the following areas:
1) Zimba Purity Retreat rescheduled for July 18-19; pray for the 12 girls who have been selected to attend, the instructors, the translators and the behind the scenes workers.
2) Christ United Methodist Church Mission Team arriving in Livingstone on July 23; pray for travel mercies, preparation of the work site prior to their arrival and receptivity of their ministry.
3) Completion of the Zimba Mission Hospital Staff Housing project; all that is left is painting, glass pane installation, electrical connection and tile installation. Pray for continued productivity and availability of materials. I cannot leave until the assigned staff members are actually moved in!!!
4) Health - I am fighting another round of bronchitis; pray for healing so that the Purity Retreat will not be affected, I can enjoy the CUMC team and that I will not have to fly home sick.

I'm counting the days....

For such a time as this,
Janet