Fruit Produced in a Valley

The fruit produced in a valley is better than that on a mountain top. -unknown

May 31, 2008 - This is a post that I wrote in March but it was so raw at the time, I couldn't post it. As I read it today, I feel that I can finally share it with you.
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"Janet,
Remember every time you have a mountain top with God – you will come down to trouble. Moses… Elijah… Jesus …" - Stacy B.'s (my friend and sister in Christ) response to the following email

This email was sent out yesterday (March 11) to a small group of prayer warriors…

Hey guys,I don’t know what is going on but I have had three bad things happen in the past 36 hours. One is minor, a flashlight was taken from my front porch in just a matter of minutes. It was a special light fitted for my bicycle so I could see at night. Second, my car was wrecked by a student driver (I was in the car with him). We hit a small stone wall that protected us from ending in a concrete ditch. No one was hurt and my car suffered no damage. The stone wall no longer exists. Third, I just returned to my house and my rear car window is shattered. We have no idea how it happened.
I am numb right now. I have no idea how much it will cost to replace the window. I just bought shocks and I’ve been told I need brakes. I just keep asking “Why?”
I would cry but I know it will do no good. This car is a “money pit”.
I keep waiting for the next bomb….
Please pray that God will provide (I know He will) and that things will settle down… I feel I am being challenged/tested now more than ever.
Janet

I am not kidding within minutes I started receiving phone calls of encouragement and email responses. I am so blessed.

So, let me tell you the story… bear with me, there is background information you need to understand.

Monday morning as I locked my house to walk to the hospital I noticed the light that I purchased for my bicycle so that I could ride at night was laying on the veranda (front porch). I had removed it when I allowed Nathaniel to ride my bike on Sunday. I didn’t want it to pop off and be lost if he had a wreck. Now, I thought to myself, "you should put that in the house." I had already locked the door and Idah (my house help) was due any minute. I knew she would see it and take it in. I went on about my business.

While I was at the hospital Idah called to say she was attending a funeral and asked permission to come on Tuesday. When I returned to my house, the light was gone. Now it wasn’t lying out in the open. You would have to walk to the front door of my house to see it. My original thought was that one of “my children” had picked it up and was playing with it. But, the children were in school… Oh, well… so what if I can only replace it in Lusaka (5 hours away)… I didn’t ride that much at night anyway. Maybe Idah came by on her way to the funeral and put it away. I’ll wait until Tuesday morning and ask her.

Well, yes, Idah did come by on her way to the funeral. The light was there and she too thought she should put it up but didn’t. We’ve calculated and there was probably a ten minute window for someone to take it. Okay Janet, it’s a small thing; don’t waste our time with such a minor thing…

Wait, you’ll understand as this blog progresses.

Here is the background information to the email…

By now you should know that I purchased a vehicle in September 2008. It’s been a real trial. A gentleman in Lusaka who purchases cars for individuals flew to South Africa and selected the car for me. These cars are shipped from Japan and usually have low mileage and are in good condition. Benard was recommended to me through the National PWC office. I was allowed to purchase it through the church as a missionary and duty taxes would be waived. I gave him my requirements: small SUV with four wheel drive, air conditioning, luggage rack and the cost must be $8000 or less. Simple. Benard goes to S.A. and finds a Toyota RAV4 with 30,000 km, four wheel drive and air conditioning. The luggage rack can be added later. Great!

The car arrives in Zambia but with one problem. Once it’s in country we find out that a RAV4 is considered a luxury vehicle in Zambia and cannot be duty tax exempt. Now, I have a decision to make. I either sell the car immediately and wait for another vehicle or take it and pay the duty. You’ve heard that saying.. a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush???? I kept the vehicle. The duty was half the cost of the vehicle. Now, before you judge my decision…. I could not buy a vehicle that would be duty tax exempt for less than $12,000.

Once I received the car it was obvious that the 30,000 km was either because it had turned over once on the odometer or the odometer had been run backwards. The tires had too much wear for 30,000 km. Maybe the tires had been replaced with old tires so that the newer tires could be sold? It happens! No worry, all the mechanics who have looked at it say the engine is in excellent condition. I replaced the tires. No, Janet, we are not in Tennessee anymore… tires are very expensive here.

The roads in Zambia are sometimes not worthy of the term “road." The tarmac has been worn off by the large trucks and the rain, pot holes are every few feet and sometimes you think you are on a roller coaster. What this means is that you need good shocks to absorb the bumps. You guessed it, I needed new shocks. During my last trip to Lusaka I purchased the needed shocks. Now, I went to the local AutoZone (AutoWorld) and front shocks were K1,050,000 ($290) each!! I called a mechanic I had befriended in Lusaka and asked him for help. I was able to get non-originals for K500,000 ($145) each. The back ones were more reasonably priced at $50 each.

When my friend put the shocks on he informed me my next purchase would need to be brakes…. Remember the comment about the car being a “money pit”… Just to add to your information, since I live in a remote area my fuel bill is quite high because the nearest town for shopping, etc. is 50 miles away, which means about $50 in fuel just to buy groceries.

Okay, so back to the matter at hand…

Vehicles in Zimba are very few and to learn to drive is a big deal. The hospital has two vehicles and only two drivers (three if you include me). We need more trained drivers so that when one of our drivers is sick or on leave there is someone to take their place. I have been teaching two workers at the hospital to drive and my neighbor, Peter.

I park my vehicle at the Wesleyan mission because there is a night watchman there and it is safe. On Monday, I had driven to Choma and when I went to park the car, Peter asked to drive. I agreed. He was doing fine but as he approached the right turn into the mission property I realized he was going too fast. I remained calm and thought he would decide to continue straight and turnaround. Well, he didn’t. He decided to turn and ran into a small brick wall that defines the small bridge over the ditch leading to the mission property. The vehicle was up on the busted stones from the wall. I had to get out and jump over the ditch to get out of the vehicle. Only the two back wheels were on the ground. Luckily, there were several men in the town and they gathered in amazement and then to help. They lifted the vehicle off of the stones and back on solid ground. It appeared the car was not damaged. Praise God! I can’t say the same for the small stone wall.

Now, Peter was beside himself. He was so scared and embarrassed. I explained that I wasn’t angry with him since I had given him permission to drive and that it was a risk I took when I allowed him to drive. That’s part of teaching someone to drive in your own vehicle.

The next day, Peter and I took the car for a test drive. It drove great. Actually, I felt that it ran better!! After I was satisfied with the performance I stopped on the side of the road, got out of the car and told Peter to drive. He looked so surprised. I think he thought he would never get the chance to drive again. I explained that we have a saying in the United States, “If you fall off a horse, you have to get right back in the saddle or you will never ride again.” Peter drove and did a nice job. He even did great on the right turns.

I praised God and thanked him for protecting the vehicle from damage…

About 1700 hours (5pm) I was walking home and Jennifer, my neighbor and one of my “children” came to greet me. As I approached the vehicle I saw the rear window of the car. It was crackled. Had it always looked like that or was that new? Was it just the screen tint or the glass? As I got closer I realized it was the glass. Now how did that happen? Where did Jennifer go?

I called for my neighbor to come see and asked if she had any knowledge of what had happened. She knew nothing. We called for Jennifer; she was nowhere to be seen. Why would she run away, she is only 7 years old and couldn’t have had anything to do with it? Car windows are hard to break. She wouldn’t have the strength to do this.

Jennifer could not be found. We now suspected she knew something. It was getting dark and there was no sign of her. When I last saw her she had a jump rope in her hand. Around 8pm I walked out on my veranda and I see the jump rope lying at the end. Jennifer is somewhere close by. I look to the side of the house and call her name. I hear her crying. She has been there this whole time hiding out of fear. You see, beating children is common here.

Now, I didn’t think this warranted a beating. I was sure it was an accident. I assured her that I would not hurt her and to come into the house. Her grandmother was not home and I didn’t want the others in her home to discipline her unnecessarily. I fed her dinner and gave her something to drink. When her grandmother came home she questioned her and indeed she admitted that she was the one who had broken the window. She was playing a game where you throw stones in the air and catch them???

Jennifer does not speak good English and anyone who speaks more than one language knows when you are emotional it is easier to speak in your heart language. Jennifer and her grandmother were conversing in Tonga and she was sobbing. I finally ask the grandmother to interpret for me. I told her that I understood that it was an accident and that I still loved her. I told her that I was more concerned that she ran away and that I was worried about her. Her grandmother asked her to apologize and when she tried she sobbed even harder. You have to understand, Jennifer and I are bonded. (When I leave Zambia I can't imagine leaving Jennifer!) She thought she was losing her friend. I grabbed her up and started sobbing with her. I assured her that I still loved her. What a change from the beating she was expecting. I believe she would have received it had I not been there.

Every night when Jennifer leaves my home to go next door to bed I tell her I love her. She has never responded. Last night she told me "I love you" before I could get the words out of my mouth. Yes, tears began to flow again!

Well, now we know how it happened but why? I still don’t have an answer to why for any of the three things… the light, the wreck or the window.

As I talked to God about it, I realized that my actions to these events showed unconditional love and forgiveness. I could have been angry, bitter and resentful but instead I showed the love of Christ to Peter, Jennifer and Maria (Jennifer’s grandmother and Peter’s mother). Maybe the lesson to be learned was not for me but for them. Maybe things that happen are not always about us but those around us. Maybe I learned that God is using me and that I am making an impact on the Kingdom.

As for the “money pit” I will probably have to drive to Lusaka (5 hours, $200 in fuel plus overnight costs) to replace the window. I’m still asking why? I am reminded that it is God’s money and not mine. I know that he is all knowing and in control.

So what about the bike light? What’s the significance? Well, one of the phone calls I received after the panic email was from my friend, Stan, in Memphis. He told me I would not believe it but that his bicycle had been stolen in Memphis. The bike was taken and the light was left behind. He is going to send me the light for his bicycle and we are both convinced that it will be exactly like the one I lost!!

Doesn’t God have a great sense of humor?

"Busyness"

I don’t really know how to start this blog. First, let me tell you I don’t blog just to blog. It is usually prompted by the Holy Spirit. This is one of those times when I feel I am supposed to share but I really don’t know how it will end.

The last few days have been rather trying. After returning from an escape weekend on the Zambezi River, I jumped right back into work. Three trips to Choma (1 ½ hours away), returning after midnight each trip and starting my day at the regular time regardless…. I’m ready for another weekend retreat.

I returned feeling spiritually revived and focused on my work here in Zambia. I am studying the Patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) by Beth Moore. It has been interesting because I started this study some time back and I had reached a point where I procrastinated and did not pick up the study. I’m not making excuses but I believe God wanted me to wait until my weekend retreat to continue.

I had reached the study on Isaac and found myself immersed in the content. I have more underlines and notes than ever. Here are just a few of the things that spoke to me:

“I am concerned that the maximum-load mentality of our culture could potentially turn us into minimalists. We’re growing too exhausted to go the extra mile. Sometimes we do only what we must to get by on a project because we have 15 other projects nipping at our heels. We’re pushed too hard and too fast to go the extra distance excellence demands. Even in church work we are often thrown into so many activities and responsibilities that we don’t take the time to allow the Holy Spirit to develop our spiritual gifts.”

“We aren’t in danger of becoming minimalists because we want to. We’re in danger of becoming minimalists because maximum overload causes minimum effectiveness.”

-Beth Moore, The Patriarchs

Ouch! This hit me hard. I thought that this would not be a problem here in Zambia. The culture here is so laid back that I wouldn’t get overwhelmed. Wrong! There is so much to be done and most of it needed to be done yesterday. In Zambia, we (missionaries, hospital managers, church leaders) play the game of “catch-up” everyday.

Another phrase I underlined was, “…take, take! That’s all people like you want to do!” Now, I love the people here and when I read this I started weeping. How could I relate to this phrase about the people I love? Then it came to me.... the problem is not with the people, the problem is with me! My ability to set priorities and say “no” to those things that are not important. My inner voice said, “But everything is important here!” I never realized how hard life would be here.

“I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.” – Psalm 40:8

I began to evaluate my work here and exactly what I do... here is an excerpt from my journal entry…

‘Busyness” – am I just busy or am I being productive? What impact am I making for the “Kingdom”? Why am I not satisfied? Am I supposed to be satisfied? Why do I long for more? Hebrews 11:16 “Instead they were longing for a better country – a heavenly one”. Even Abraham died without seeing the fruit of his faith but continued to believe. This “longing for a better country” (heaven) is what keeps me faithful. Perfection will never be reached until I enter that better country. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness.’

I have returned to Zimba and I am not going to lie and tell you that I have made all the necessary changes but I am aware of the changes I need to make. That is step one!

Step two was to find an area of personal ministry where I could feel I was making a difference. Part of my testimony is that as a young woman I desired to be faithful to God but I didn't know how to go past that step. Discipleship – I’m not sure I even knew that term until maybe 10 years ago. I can remember going forward after church services to “rededicate” myself to Christ but I didn’t really know how. No one in the church… I mean no one (pastors, leaders, or members) ever counseled me or volunteered to help me. I continued to falter through life. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness! ... oops I've said that already!

I don’t want that for the young women here in Zimba (or anywhere). I have committed to work with a small group of girls who just need encouragement and love. I have plenty of that to give. I plan to lead a weekend retreat dedicated to “purity” and Aids/HIV education. I want these girls to trust me and want to spend time with me. I want my home to be a safe haven for them when they need a friend. My God, what am I getting myself into???

How does that help relieve the stress of an already busy schedule you ask? Well, it relieves that inner voice that keeps asking, “What are you doing for the Kingdom?”

Step three…. I’m still working on that.

Stay tuned....

What in the World Are You Doing in Zambia?

Well, I can't believe it has been two months since I wrote about my time here. Christmas has just ended for me since I received my last package on February 27. I still have my Christmas cards posted on the refrigerator. The cats, Esther and Mordecai, especially love the one that plays music when you open the card. Thanks for all the packages, cards and emails during the past three months. I really like a three month Christmas season!

The past two months have been rather busy and also a struggle for me. I have experienced some minor health issues, financial setbacks and overall fatigue. Although Zambia is a "laid back" culture I still find myself way too busy. There is so much to do and it is so hard to set priorities because everything needed to be done yesterday. I know I should spend more time teaching the Zambians how to do some of the things I do but there just doesn't seem to be precious time available.

Can you tell I have become a little overwhelmed by the tasks at hand?

Some of you may be wondering exactly what it is that takes so much of my time. Well, here is a list of the Building projects I am currently working on:

Zimba Mission Hospital Staff Housing - One of the issues at the hospital is staffing. There are not enough nurses for the number of patients seen daily. Because the hospital staff is employed by the government, the hospital is required to provide housing for its professional staff. Competition among the hospitals in Zambia for quality staff depends on the quality of houses. ZMH currently owns 12 houses and rents 17 houses to accommodate their existing staff. The rental property consumes 50-60% of the grant money received from the government each month. That means that there is very little money left to medicate the patients, feed the patients and provide diagnostic testing. Each month the finance committee has to make a decision on what area(s) will be funded. If the 17 rental houses can be eliminated the money used to pay landlords can then be applied toward direct care for the patients.

Beit Trust House - This was an unfinished duplex that was funded by the Beit Trust Fund (UK). For several reasons the money awarded did not allow for the completion. The hospital matron (Nursing Director) now lives on the hospital campus rather than in one of the rental houses.


5nOne Block - Another unfinished project when I arrived was two concrete slabs meant for 10 apartments for single nurses. Each slab would be a block of 5 apartments. One of the slabs had the beginning of the brick structure for the houses but there was no money to finish the building. The other slab was poorly constructed and it was undecided whether the bad slab could be used for a permanent structure. The targeted date for occupation of the first five apartments is April 1st.

Hospital Owned House Renovations - Most of the houses on the hospital compound were built in the 60's and have had very little maintenance since then. This house did not have indoor plumbing (it was once the morgue) and the single female nurse who occupies it had to go outside to bathe and use the toilet. The house now has a shower, toilet and usable kitchen sink.

House Purchases - The cost of building a two to three bedroom house in Zimba is approximately $15,000. Occasionally existing houses become available for sale and for a price much lower than it can be built. This house is being offered at $7300.



Land Purchase - The hospital has a limited area for expansion and in order to fulfill their vision for growth more land is needed. there is an area of "no man's land" that has been identified adjacent to the hospital. It is believed that this land will be awarded to the hospital by the council at no cost. It would be used for future staff housing projects. Another piece of land has been identified across from the hospital along the main road in Zimba. A Zambian resident has offered to purchase this land and it would be used for the expansion of outpatient services.

Office Renovations - As the hospital has grown there has been no consideration for the addition of professional staff. Now that there is a Chief Medical Officer, two Medical Licentiates and 6 clinical officers space was needed for each level of caregivers to be practice. Under utilized space was identified and now everyone has an area of their own without "bumping" into one another.

Now, of course, I am not building these houses myself or renovating the existing buildings. My job is to coordinate the various contractors (bricklayers, plumbers, electricians, painter, etc.), manage the bank account by writing the necessary checks and purchasing materials, and provide reports to the donors providing the funding.

In addition to the building projects listed above, I also help with the accounting office (creating electronic records, implementing Quickbooks, and performing bank errands), drive the "ambulance" when a patient needs to be transported to Livingstone Hospital, drive the hearse or family vehicle during funerals, coordinate mission teams from the United States, work with the Pilgrim Wesleyan National office (newsletter, website, conferences,etc.) and anything else that may be required.

You might even ask, because I ask myself, how does this have anything to do with building God's kingdom? Shouldn't you be teaching a bible study, working with children, caring for the patients? Well, in Matthew 25 Jesus says, "Whatever you do for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." My work allows the hospital to hire the required nurses, doctors and other healthcare workers to care for the sick and abandoned (the least of these brothers). I do it for Him.